Try this style instead, it modifies the template itself. In there you can change everything you need to transparent:
<Style TargetType="{x:Type TabItem}">
<Setter Property="Template">
<Setter.Value>
<ControlTemplate TargetType="{x:Type TabItem}">
<Grid>
<Border Name="Border" Margin="0,0,0,0" Background="Transparent"
BorderBrush="Black" BorderThickness="1,1,1,1" CornerRadius="5">
<ContentPresenter x:Name="ContentSite" VerticalAlignment="Center"
HorizontalAlignment="Center"
ContentSource="Header" Margin="12,2,12,2"
RecognizesAccessKey="True">
<ContentPresenter.LayoutTransform>
<RotateTransform Angle="270" />
</ContentPresenter.LayoutTransform>
</ContentPresenter>
</Border>
</Grid>
<ControlTemplate.Triggers>
<Trigger Property="IsSelected" Value="True">
<Setter Property="Panel.ZIndex" Value="100" />
<Setter TargetName="Border" Property="Background" Value="Red" />
<Setter TargetName="Border" Property="BorderThickness" Value="1,1,1,0" />
</Trigger>
<Trigger Property="IsEnabled" Value="False">
<Setter TargetName="Border" Property="Background" Value="DarkRed" />
<Setter TargetName="Border" Property="BorderBrush" Value="Black" />
<Setter Property="Foreground" Value="DarkGray" />
</Trigger>
</ControlTemplate.Triggers>
</ControlTemplate>
</Setter.Value>
</Setter>
</Style>
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